What are your core values?

What are your core values?

Finding out your core values is an easy exercise that won’t take longer than 10 minutes.  Got time?  Then read ahead!

 

I found this list below (more details here).  Circle the words that speak to you.  Know that your version of the word is different to mine.

For example, I would say I have about 5 – 10 “Friends”.  This isn’t a bad thing (if you think it is, read more on Judgments here).  It’s just a thing.

 

This is your list, with your words.  If you feel something is missing, add it to your list

Accountability Excellence Perfection
Accuracy Excitement Piety
Achievement Expertise Positivity
Adventurousness Exploration Practicality
Ambition Expressiveness Preparedness
Assertiveness Fairness Professionalism
Balance Faith Prudence
Being the best Family Quality / Excellence
Belonging Fidelity Reliability
Boldness Fitness Resourcefulness
Calmness Fluency Restraint
Carefulness Focus Results-oriented
Challenge Freedom Rigor
Cheerfulness Fun Security
Clear-mindedness Generosity Self-actualization
Commitment Goodness Self-control
Community Grace Selflessness
Compassion Growth Self-reliance
Competitiveness Happiness Sensitivity
Consistency Hard Work Serenity
Contentment Health Shrewdness
Continuous Improvement Helping / Service Simplicity
Contribution Honesty Speed
Control Honor Spontaneity
Cooperation Humility Stability
Correctness Independence Strategic
Courtesy Ingenuity Strength
Creativity Inner Harmony/Peace Structure
Curiosity Inquisitiveness Success
Decisiveness Insightfulness Support
Democraticness Intelligence Teamwork
Dependability Intuition Temperance
Determination Joy Thankfulness
Devoutness Justice Thoroughness
Diligence Leadership Thoughtfulness
Discipline Legacy Timeliness
Discretion Love Tolerance
Diversity Loyalty Traditionalism
Dynamism Making a difference Trustworthiness
Effectiveness Mastery Truth-seeking
Efficiency Merit Understanding
Elegance Obedience Uniqueness
Empathy Openness Unity
Enjoyment Order Usefulness
Enthusiasm Originality Vision
Equality Patriotism Vitalit

 

Of the list, pick the top 5 – 7.

Next, we go through the process of “What’s more important”.  (This is easier to illustrate if we use mine as an example).

My values in a mixed order:

  1. Security / Safety
  2. Financial independence
  3. Family
  4. Honesty / Integrity

Go through the list, start at 1.  Safety / Security.  Is that more important than 2. Financial independence?  Yes!  Continue

Is 1.  Safety / Security more important than 3. Family?  No!  So more Family to the top:

  1. Family
  2. Security / Safety
  3. Financial independence
  4. Honesty / Integrity

Start again.  1.  Family more important than Security / Safety?  Yes!  1. Family more important than Financial independence?  Yes.  Continue

So you go through the list, if you have a lower value more important than a higher one, swap them.

When you are finished, you will have your list:

  1. Family
  2. Honesty / Integrity
  3. Security / Safety
  4. Financial independence

 

What’s on your list?

What are values?

What are values?

I’ve written recently on being judgmental and the importance of values.

So what are values?  What are your values?

 

Mine are:

  1. Family
  2. Honesty / Integrity
  3. Security / Safety
  4. Financial independence

 

If I took everything (physical) away from you – what would you have left?  What would you rely on or who would you ask for help?

Since you have my values, lets unpack these a little:

Family

Family to me, means my wife and my children.  It excludes my extended family (parents, brothers, sisters) but I include (very) close friends.  Literally without my family I have nothing.  I would happily choose my family over money, or any material possessions.

Honesty / Integrity

For me, this is about being honest with myself and others and having integrity.  That means that if I say something I do it.  If you say something, I expect you to do it

Security / Safety

I’m 6’2” or about 187 cm tall.  (This is a story for another day) the short version is that I regularly feel a target and I am very protective of my family especially my little boys.

Financial independence

I love money!  I earn a decent salary and I’m not ashamed or embarrassed by it.  I have some debt (+$300k on the house and about +$7,000 on credit cards).  My plan is to retire by 60 and to have $1M in assets (excluding the family home).

 

Ever felt conflicted with a choice?  I want to spend more time with the family but I have too much work on?  This is because your values are out of alignment.

By knowing your values, you get clarity around what you want.  I wasn’t always like this.  These days, it is very rare for me to have the sort of conflict of working too hard vs quality family time.

 

What are your values?  If you do, leave a comment – I’m always interested!  If not, have a look here.

On being judgmental

On being judgmental

What is a judgment?
A judgment is a value based opinion on something. Take the statements:

  1. Tony Abbot is Australia’s worst Prime minister
  2. All men/women are selfish assholes!
  3. Family is more important than fun

Let’s look at the first:
Tony Abbot is Australia’s worst Prime minister
This one is tricky – worst Prime minister by whose standards? What is the value here?
Is this a judgment? I’ll let you decide

All men/women are selfish assholes!
This one is a bit easier. Clearly the “all” implies everyone. This makes this a judgment.

Family is more important than fun
What does that even mean? For some, “family” could mean your immediate family, the “family” you feel at your church or social group or it could mean your friends.
“Fun” can mean many things to many people. What my wife thinks is fun is very different to what my sons or I think is fun. The value is that one is more important than the other.
Clearly a judgment!

So now that we know what a judgment is, now what?
No really, now what?

Well it depends on the “value” of the judgment.
I know myself that I am very judgmental. On the other hand, I don’t hold a value on that.
What does THAT mean?
Well, ever been wrong? Ever felt the sting of being wrong? Ever felt someone (or perhaps yourself) has gone out of their way to prove you wrong?
What did that feel like? The moment where you gasped for breath and realized “Oh shit! They’re right!”

While you are holding on to that memory, take a pause. And try something different.
Mentally rewind the video by 5 seconds. (Wait for it, this will blow your mind!)

Say to yourself – who cares? Who cares if they are right or wrong? Now play the video…
How does that feel? A little different?

Who cares if your judgments are wrong?
I’m not sure if this is a western thing, or a Christian religious thing – (if you know, leave a comment!
I LOVE being judgmental – for me, accepting that made a massive difference to my life. Yes, that person maybe fat / skinny / happy / sad / tormented by some type of emotional distress.
If you are happy – tell me why?
If you are sad – how come?
If you are tormented by an emotional distress – probably better off speak with a therapist!
But here’s the kicker – if I am right, then how can I help? If I am wrong, then who cares? How are you feeling? What is going on in your life?

For me, being judgmental moves the conversation forward. It forces both parties (me and you) to make a decision. Once that decision is made, then great! Tell me something exciting! Teach me something I don’t know.

 

You should try being judgmental sometime. It may surprise you!

The power of a daily affirmation

The power of a daily affirmation

The 'art' of manliness??

I recently came across the blog The Art of Manliness.

In a recent post, Brett McKay writes on how to measure yourself for clothing (business shirt, pants sizes etc) beyond the typical X, XXL.

I am a bit embarrassed to admit it, I first thought the site was either some sort of homosexaul, greco roman wrestling site or an attention seeking spam site.

I was wrong on both occasions!

It’s a quirky “man’s man” site.  It has advice on how to shave, how to tie a tie and to stop hanging out with women and start dating them!

It is as if the writers squared up at Justin Bieber and all the modern day metro sexuals and kicked them square in the nuts!

I was really surprised at how its not gratuitous or rude.  It is literally a time warp back to the 1950′s!

Go have a read!

Low carb update

It’s been a while since I last posted on the whole low carb / weight loss thing.

So here’s my 6 months review:

  • It works!
  • Weight loss to date is 12.5kg / 27 pounds
  • My cholesterol is sky high! (7.7)
  • My waist measurement is 104cm (<94cm is optimal)

Mentally my outlook has drastically changed.  At my age (36) and height (6’2″) I should be aiming for about 90kg.  Never before have I felt so confident that I will hit that.

Physically I have so much more energy.  Not in the “I’m going to go to the gym for the 9th time this week”.  It is more in the little things.  For example, I used to leave the dirty dishes in the sink and clean them the next day.  Now I see it has something that I can do in 5 minutes.

The only downside I’ve found is sugar.  I’ve been following Season 2 of Masterchef.  Some of the deserts look fantastic!  But from a weight loss point of view they are very expensive!

Take for example a Neenish Tart.  I would often have one of these with a coffee (~ 1 per week).  Now I know they aren’t good for you and that I shouldn’t have them, but just how bad are they?

(I’m not going to promote one low carb vs another.  I had great results with Michael Eades’, your results may vary).  The Wikipedia article couldn’t clearly define what is and isn’t low carbs.  So for arguments sake, lets say you are eating 20 – 30 grams per day.

What is in a Neenish Tart?

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 1 batch 768g
Calories 3187
Calories from Fat 1368 (42%)
Amount Per Serving %DV
Total Fat 152.0g 233%
Saturated Fat 93.5g 467%
Monounsaturated Fat 39.8g
Polyunsaturated Fat 7.1g
Trans Fat 0.0g
Cholesterol 603mg 201%
Sodium 1807mg 75%
Potassium 676mg 19%
Total Carbohydrate 427.9g 142%
Dietary Fiber 6.3g 25%
Sugars 250.7g
Protein 37.3g 74%
how is this calculated?

In my experience, going off the rails like this isn’t the end of the world, but it can be a setback.

What’s your experience been like?